The state of books, books, books

Apparently I am never going to become one bit more tech-savvy than I am now, which is enough to become frustrated at the things I think I should be able to do but can't.  I took this picture by using my car mirror so I could center my face, then I emailed it to myself and saved it to my Mac....except that something so simple became very complex as I started this blog.  In fact, I have a new gmail account and I couldn't even FIND my old blog account.  Seems that is the way of it.  I tend to complex my life up with over-obsession or over working a thought...multiple email addresses that are supposed to make my life easier have, well, not.

I want to talk about reading this time around.  After all, this is what I have proclaimed my blog to be about.  This summer I "read" a book I purchased through Amazon as an audio read - The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harald Fry by Rachel Joyce.  I drove to my dad's in Clarkston and then to my sister's at Palmer Lake, and I wanted an engaging story I could listen to.  Funny, I rarely select a special occasion book easily; I always want the perfect read. Harold Fry was a delight and I loved hearing it from the melodious British Jim Broadbent.  I know, I know, it is my own ignorant American ear, but I thought Broadbent sounded so much like Jim Dale (the narrator of the Harry Potter books).  Maybe it's because they are both Jims? What I find interesting though is that I don't think my brain differentiates between my reading the story or hearing the story; it's all muddled in there together. I read several books on my OOOOOOLD Kindle and on my phone via Kindle App.  Believe me, you have to really WANT to read if you are going to read a book on my tiny phone screen.  Kindle reads included I Love Yous Are For White People, a Vietnamese-American retrospective by Lac Su and a brilliant short story book by David Vann called Legend of a Suicide plus a slew of mysteries and some of my favorite books with reoccurring characters like Faith Hunter's Jane Yellowrock and Patricia Briggs' Mercy Thompson ( I love, love, love them).   I read hardcover books for my classroom - which is an unfortunate state of education, but something I can't tackle today - current reads are Black Elk Speaks by John Neihardt and The Absolute True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie. I am so grateful that I love to read. According to this article, brain function elevates and remains elevated for days after reading. Reading for Brain Boost
What is the best way to read a book? When I listen to a book, I can't linger over it or delve into the figurative language the way I can when I read a book.  But sometimes the sound of words are so amazing that they MUST be heard out loud; they must be shared with someone. I find with Black Elk, I am forced to slow down and re-read and spend time with the words.  With so many of the books I read, I rush through them, intent upon the story so much that I often forget details in the book.
Will we always have books?  Many of my students don't read at all, unless forced.  They clamor to watch the movie, if there is one, of a book or story we are reading.  Reading makes them impatient. Will there always be reading?

Blogging for myself

Yeah, I'm trying to "Smize" or "Smeyes" which is what Tyra Banks says is smiling with your eyes, but I'm afraid she might tell me not to quit my day job. I have decided not to be offended with the world for not following my blog. I haven't been a regular blogger and friends who hoped that I would post often when I first began writing some three years ago were disappointed time and again with my lack of interest in the blog. I like the idea of putting my thoughts out into the world, rather like a message in a bottle, but the world has moved on to Twitter and Facebook and my blogging is not as relevant. I suppose blogging is somewhat arrogant after all. I read part of someone's blog the other day and I was so bored by this person's musings that I wanted to scream. If I wasn't so polite (yes, I think I am too polite even though my family fears to take me out to dinner just in case a foolish waiter makes a mistake on our order) I would have posted on her blog how BORED I was reading what she was writing and that she should just GET TO IT.

So, I've decided that since no one is reading what I am writing that I should just be able to say whatever I want and that my cool picture should reflect my new, carefree, abandoned attitude. To be frank, I am not very honest in my blogging. Oh, I try to be candid, but I don't really write about the deep stuff, the stuff that matters most. Ho hum, this is my opinion on books: Read them. Yawn, these are my thoughts on education: Parents are a critical component to success. Tap, tap, tap with my foot, foot, foot: Honesty is disguised as earnestness.

So here goes a few impolite truths for your reading pleasure:

1. I am fed up with whiny teenagers and most teenagers fit this category - in and out of my church. Good night! I give a cheery word to every dang teenager I encounter and I get back a lot of grunts and sighs. Get over it teens! You have food and a home and clothes; you should be thanking my generation for your unearned prosperity. Many of you act entitled and spoiled and I am OVER it. Next time I'm naming names.......

2. Dieting sucks. I hate not being able to eat without gaining weight and I hate being overweight. I suck at dieting. As soon as my brain tells my stomach that I am dieting, they both get in cahoots to sabotage me. Yesterday, I just decided to finish the peanut butter so that it would cease to be a temptation. Yeah, I know, I could have thrown it away, or put it away, but you don't get a butt my size without justifying a few things along the way. I'm not huge and I'm not skinny - I'm just average. Ugh.

3. My husband is going to be really sad with me, but most world news bores me to tears. Ok, not Japan and the earthquake, but Europe definitely and Italy especially. Berlusconi's antics annoy me beyond reason and I'm about as impatient with him as I am the sullen teenagers. France's Burqa bans make me want to scream and the whole European Union makes me uneasy.

Ahhhhhhh what a breath of fresh air. Maybe my new blog title should be, "Ask Linne what she really thinks."

Lazy writers; avid readers

Maybe this describes you too. I am a "someday" writer with lots of ideas but no stamina for actual production. Oh, I know I have lots of excuses. Today I graded College Prep English "How to..." papers that were supposed to include cultural revelations, 7th & 8th grade Reading papers from Sign of the Beaver using constructed response, and Leadership papers on ideas for giving speeches to 6th graders....it was a looooong afternoon. Sigh. Oh, and I wrote a VIP letter of recommendation for college application. So, yeah, I am busy, but I am always busy, so I think I have to rename busy and just call it not so interested in writing. In my head I am going to be a published writer someday, but in reality I'm not working very hard to get there. Somehow, that doesn't bum me out nearly as much as it should. I'm content with someday. It is kind of like the thought of a lovely dessert at the end of a great meal. I'm just working through it.....

Good grief, how can I be so old?

So, here's the deal. I have basically ignored AGE. Yeah, I know it's around, lurking over my shoulder, taunting me with its evil wiley ways and manical laugh, but I thought maybe if I gave AGE the silent treatment, it just might pack up and go bug some other middle aged woman who is trying to grow old discretely. In some cultures, I could be somebody's Great Grandma, for goodness sakes, and in some other (CRAZY) cultures, I could be having another child......why do I have to be a slave to some number? ........I guess I just hate that my number defines me. There is an expectation that goes along with every age, right?
We tell people to, "Act your age!" and we are quick to jump on someone's behavior when it doesn't meet our age appropriate standard. However, there are certain stereotypes we put on age that are starting to resemble me.....The day after my birthday, I got an invite from the AARP. I worry that I will start to lose my "relevance"as I get older. Yeah, yeah, I know the stories about the artists who produced great works at substantial ages, and I'm certainly not as old as I hope to be, AND I realize that the alternative to growing older is not living, but really, 50?

Spring Break

Anymore, spring break implies exotic locations and whirlwind parties, but for me the first week of April comes and my sights are on California, or as I like to call it, Howeland, for Natalie, Will, and Fallon Howe. Don't think us too staid though. We are a lot like the college rowdies who flee to Florida beaches. For instance, we consume a variety of drinks: Natalie likes dieto coca cola, I'm still into diet Dr. Pepper as well as energy Sobe, Caroline drinks water but asks for Coke, and Will drinks anything leftover. Also, both Natalie and Fallon had uncontrollable vomiting bouts yesterday. Oh, and we spend a lot of time dancing to Yo Gabba Gabba. Sometimes Fallon takes her shirt off before she dances. Yesterday, things got a little crazy when we were playing on the PhotoBooth on my MacBook. We made some wild faces. Yep, we is wacky.

Am I allowed to say "Coochie?"

I remember an entertainer named Charo whose schtick was to yell "Coochie, Coochie!" and then shimmy. She was much beloved of Johnny Carson and Jay & Dave, but I never understood the allure. Yet, there was something wonderfully flamboyantly outrageous about Charo that I had to admire. So, last night when I went to a Poetry Slam and one of the feature poets entertained us with what she called her "Coochie Poem" I was pretty sure I was in for something a little different. To her credit, she did warn the parents that they might want to leave the room, but I was there with some students and pretty sure I could handle any crazy poem this Poetess could dish out about Vaginas. I think the subtitle to her poem was 1000 ways to say, "Coochie." Who knew? And why would you want to? She said words that made my eyes pop out of my head. (Words that I was brought up thinking should require a bar of soap after you say them.) I suppose some of them were funny and I guess the idea is to take away the stigma that euphemisms and slang carry, but I think I could go through my life just calling it Australia (you know, for Down Under). It made me wonder if I am in a serious generation gap....or a Mormon gap....or something else. What do you think?

People are Funny

I love this picture and I hope you do too. The audacity of people just tickles me and I couldn't pass up this photo op with "Big Hairy Guy from Hawaii." He wasn't complicit in the photo; my sister, Laura, was my accomplice, but I like to think that his bravado in going shirtless was really an invitation for me to pose with him. I am thinking of creating a coffeetable book called People I Think Are Weird.

2009? Where did the time go?

Things I am most thankful for....

1. I recall being a little girl and considering the year 2000 - wondering if I would be alive on such an auspicious date...and here I am 9 years later wondering what other milestones I will get to reach in my life. I went (kicking and screaming) to the Dr this week and she and I discussed what a great time it is to be alive. She said that she had to look twice at my file to see how old I was (yup, I am sticking with the hair dye until I have no hair) and she told me she thought our parents didn't look like us when they were our age. I am grateful to live in a time such as this when my age is not considered "over the hill" and that I can look forward to many more years on this earth.

2. We had such a great Christmas with Katrina and Joseph home, but we missed Natalie, Will, and Fallon sooo much and we thought about them everyday. (This year was a Howe family year - note to self, my other children should marry orphans.) Every year our family struggles to find times when we can all be together. This year, we WENT TO HAWAII - YO! Thanks to my sister and bro-in-law, we funned in the sun, and for a few days, we were all together. Rick has made sacrifices this year so that we can be together more often and our family is happier for that.

3. Fallon and great nieces/nephews. Okay, I'm not going to lie too much here, but becoming a grandma is just a little hard on my ego. Damn it all, I love being "experienced" but I hate looking like I am. Fallon, the OG (original grand baby) makes up for every wrinkle and gray hair. She is a joy; gorgeous, smart, funny, etc. This Christmas, I got a few glimpses of my FOUR great nieces/nephews and they are similarly endowed with good looks and brilliance. It must be the genes...

4. Okay, I probably make everyone sick with my constant talk of "my classroom" and my educational experiences, but I have to brag just a little bit about my Master's in Education. It took me a span of 14 years and three colleges to get my Bachelor's degree and a mere two years to get my masters. It was a challenge for me to work with younger brained classmates who had more classroom experience than I, but I pulled it off and in the end I made the Dean's List and I passed my Praxis reading test. Whoot!

5. Rick and I have been married 26 years. Back in the day, it was unusual for people to get divorced; now it is unusual for people to remain married. Anyone who knows us knows that it hasn't been the easiest passage for us, but we love and respect one another and we are committed to our life together.

6. Music, books, friends, food, entertainment.....
Katrina hyped up my iPod Touch, I read "The Road", my friend Judy cooks me bread, I took a cooking class and have renewed my love affair with the kitchen, and Joey keeps me locked in on the movie scene.

7. Kids. I get to work with kids every work day and the Primary Angels on Sunday. Kids are hopeful and energetic and wonderful.

8. The three people who read this always give me grief b/c I don't blog very often. I love to write and am a hopeful author. This is a great forum for me to express myself. Hoo Rah for blogspot.

California Fallon

I grew up in Alaska with no extended family nearby. My mother’s family hailed from Montana and because of the expense we could only visit them every two years or so. My father’s family was really just Grandma Mary who also lived in Alaska, but since my parents were divorced, we saw her rarely. I remember being a little girl and considering how awful it must have been for my mother to only see her brother and sister every two years. I vowed it would not be so with me – that I would never go more than a month without seeing my siblings. And then, we all grew up and went our separate ways, and there was a time when it had been more than five years since I had seen my sisters! I’m frustrated by the constraints of time and money, and I suppose, prioritizing, that keeps us from the people that we love the very most in our lives.
All of this is a preface to say that I have spent a few days with my daughter Natalie and her family in Pasadena, CA. I get to see my sweet granddaughter and her good parents every few months, but it just doesn’t feel like enough. Katrina is in Utah, and Joey is in Flux, while Natalie appears to be permanently ensconced in California. I scheme away trying to think of ways to get my whole family together and I am chronically frustrated. My kids balk when I suggest they can all live with us forever, but what is a mother/grandmother to do? Solutions?

I think I'm purple

I have long been dormant in my blog writing; you know, it is one of those things that when you put off too long, like an overdue phone call to a friend, you wonder if you can get back into the groove, if the blog is still relevant, if anyone out there will even care…….

So, I write in hopes that others read, but I think I am writing today to work some things out for myself in the political arena.  Rick and I have long been intellectual pals – he is smart and has great ideas and I like to bask in his intellect and bounce my own, wackily formed ideas off his sound ideology.

This political season, we have parted ways.  Early this spring, I determined that Obama most closely matched my political beliefs, while Rick, who was intrigued by the left at first, has more firmly become entrenched in his seat on the McCain train.  Our discussions have become frigid and we seem to find no common ground to agree upon. 

Our children, Caroline and Joey, can’t stand our volatile discussions and Caroline told me recently that when she gets married she wants her husband to have the same political views as she does.  Uh oh.  How did we get so off track from one another?

I am not one for introspection – I don’t always care why I do or think something; I just do, but I have been giving this a lot of thought. 

You see, Rick is afraid that if Obama wins, life as we know it will never be the same.  He thinks that the Muslim influence will negatively affect our Christian country and that the liberals will make inroads into places that they will never relinquish.  On the other hand, I think that Obama has good ideas and that our country needs some major directional changes; however, if all goes awry and we do head for Hell in that proverbial hand basket, then we will just vote for a new president in four years.  Or, if things go from good to awful in two years, then we can just elect new U.S. Representatives as they are all up for re-election then. 

Honestly, I think what Rick and my other right-wing friends are afraid of is more about the changes in society and less about the coming political changes.

While Obama supports abortion and same-sex marriage, he doesn’t advocate for a constitutional change, but we see states battling these issues in their own political races, not because Obama is running for president. 

I, too, am afraid for our country’s future, but I still believe in our country.  Come what may, I believe that God’s guidance is on the leader’s of our nation.  Come November 5^th, I think I will be happy no matter the result.

What do you think? 

I wept when I read this book....

And not so much because I was sad, but mostly because this book, to me, is a story about hope and love set in a dark, bleak world of unspeakable destruction.  It seems I am always late to the table when finding a great book; I have never discovered one on my one, but have to be persuaded to read many a book that I eventually fall in love with.  The Road is one of them.  I heard of it and thought that I couldn't stand to read a post-apocalyptic book that was starts with a premise of hopelessness and ends less so....... 

Those who know me know I like a good upturn of events in a book - romance before tragedy unless it's Shakespeare - I always say.  The Road is poignant and sweet and terrible.  

Read it so we can talk about it!

The Greatest Works.....

Boyd K Packer, in a speech about art and Latter-day Saints said, 
"I mentioned earlier that the greatest hymns and anthems have not been composed, nor have the greatest illustrations been set down, nor the poems written, nor the paintings finished. When they are produced, who will produce them? Will it be the most talented and the most highly trained among us? I rather think it will not. They will be produced by those who are the most inspired among us. Inspiration can come to those whose talents are barely adequate, and their contribution will be felt for generations; and the Church and kingdom of God will move forward just a little more easily because they have been here."

I think this is why I love the Twilight Seriesso much.  It is the same reason I love the writings of Orson Scott Card  Not because I share a religion with them both, but because they share their religion so well through their art.  

You see, I love to write, and I've thought about writing a MORMON story or book, but my idea was to make it "REAL", you know the truths about Mormon living, good and bad. But I'm rethinking my plan.  Stephenie Meyer and Orson Scott Card write about truths in human nature (which are compelling and universal) and stay true to the nature of God and the tenets in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  People are good in Meyer and Card's writings.  

Meyer especially has made me re-think teen fiction.  I work with teenagers and most teens I know aren't like the ones Meyer portrays in her Twilight series .  Most of the teens I know unapologetically engage in all sorts of vices.  But that isn't how it has to be and that isn't the reality for many, many young people with solid morals and standards.  I like that there are places to go where the ugly realism hasn't permeated. 

Rock on, good Mormon writers, may you replenish the earth! 

Teaching Reading

My job for the summer (well, two weeks anyway) is to teach reading to children entering 3rd grade!  Really, I am helping a lead teacher and I have to teach a few lessons and then I do a lot of assessments.  Some of my classmates (we are all working in separate classrooms) think the experience is ho-hum; after all many of them work with this age of kids all year long.  But not me!  I love teaching kids this age - they are so open and honest and vulnerable.  I only worked with a few of them on Thursday and I got a half-dozen hugs and a large bouquet of clover and dandelions.  The school I am working at is drawing kids from across the district, but most of the students who are coming to summer school do so because they need help with reading.  It should be no surprise to those who work with struggling readers that the kids are generally ethnic minorities, come from non-intact homes, and live in poverty. My niece, Renae, will relate to the names on my roster:  Ivanov, Kim, Valesquez - Russian, Korean, and Mexican. What an exciting, vibrant experience.  Unpretentious, they share painful life stories so easily.  It makes me wonder if THIS is where I should work - with younger children, where school can make such a difference.  Now, if I could just figure out how to get a gig in Hawaii!

So, I ignobly hurt myself playing tennis this week.  I TORE my plantaris tendon (yea, look it up, you might not even have one).

I might be a baby, but it really hurts to walk on it so the Dr gave me a splint, crutches, and vicoden and I sat on my bed for two days and imperially ordered Joey and Caroline around.  

I did learn that if I walk on my toes and keep my knee bent, I am in little pain,  but I'm not very good at sustaining this posture, so I rely on the crutches.  The Plantaris Tendon is sometimes called "fools tendon" b/c some people don't even have one and there isn't any real use for it except to cause a lot of pain when you tear it.  The cool thing is that I HEARD it pop and the tear felt like a rubber band snapping....

Anyway, I was thinking that there couldn't be a worse time, but certainly there could have been.  How about the last week of school?  Ugh.  Terrible time to be on crutches

Or my time in Hawaii?  Ooooh, that would have sucked.

Or when there is ice and snow on the ground?  Messy and yucky.

So, in the midst of all this inconvenience there are many things to be thankful for.  I am glad to have a leg even if it isn't working right now.

Joey's Home......Yo

Things I missed about Joey:

1.  His amazing energy.  He can't seem to stop.  Running, tennis, basketball, driving here, going there.  He's a dervish.

2.  His love of my cooking.  He says thank you every time I cook anything.  It is great to be appreciated.

3.  His tallness.  He can reach lightbulbs and shelves and cobwebs (if he weren't afraid of spiders).

4.  His biceps.  Oh my gosh, Joey can bench a refrigerator.  If I got a flat tire, he could lift up the car and change it.

Things I didn't miss about Joey:

1.  Mi Cara, su Cara.....for those of you who don't speak Spanglish, that means my car is somehow, through Joey's  amazing magic, his car.

2.  He was away from home for 8 months and still can't figure out how to make cup-o-noodles.  Lord help us.

3.  He lets our crazy dog, Jack, on the couch.  I know he does it even if he denies it to my face.

4.  I still worry about him.....somewhere inside this big grown up man is a young boy thinking about jumping off a cliff.

Growing Compassion

I recently took a small class to Seattle Center to see Tibetan leader in exile, the 14th Dalai Lama.  A wizened, humble man with a constant smile, the Dalai Lama's impressiveness was less about his speech and more about his presence.  While the Dalai Lama wasn't always easy to understand, there was no mistaking the love that he feels for all humanity.  I hope my students are inspired by the idea of using terms like peace, understanding, forgiveness, and, yes, love when talking about world issues.  The Dalai Lama says that compassion is a SECULAR concept and should not e relegated to religion.  Amen.

Out with the old

There is something about springtime that just makes me want to throw things away.  I want to see things clean and dust free, drawers that are free of stuff I never wear, papers I have been saving trashed, and, in short, everything neat, tidy, and spring-cleaned.  Now, here is the rub:  I want everything to be be clean, but I don't necessarily want to be the one to clean it!  Every time I start a home project, I get overwhelmed.  I am not a decorate or a remodeler.  When someone says, "Anyone idiot can do it!" they haven't met me.  For instance, in my room are some very old blue curtains.  The are uuuuuuugly and I look at them and wish I could figure out a way to change them.  Yeah, I know, it can't be too hard, right?  Well, they are on a rod with a pulley system and I once tried to change out curtains like this and I ended up breaking them.  I've always just had curtains I could slide on a rod and use tie backs when I needed to open them.  Did I just not get the decor gene that most women I know have?  Am I just not adventurous enough?  I want decorating to be static; you know, I just want to do it once and then forget about it.  Unfortunately, styles come and go and stuff changes.  Today I threw out a half dozen wall hangings I made 15 years ago - all with hearts and sentiments about home and covered with dust.  How did I ever think they were cute?  I need a decorating makeover.    

Spring Break...baby gone wild

So here I am in So Cal on Spring Break.  There is no other place I'd rather be then with my family.  The trouble is that my family is in three different places:  Washington, Utah, and California.  Rick's job is demanding, and because he works as a contractor, when he doesn't work, we get no moolah, so it is HARD for him to leave.  The kids and I are all tied to our school schedules...oh, come to think of it, we are all tied to some kind of obligation and opportunity cost.  Earlier in our marriage, Rick and I struggled to do things because we had economic limitations; now it is all about time, time, time.  Never enough of the stuff, too much of it passes too quickly, and the impossibility of time travel makes it so that we constantly have to choose between many options.  Sigh......

Baby Fallon in person is a joy, Natalie and Will are diligent parents, and Pasadena is sweet and sunny.  Week went too quickly.

California dreamin'

California with my gorgeous grandbaby, Fallon and my almost as gorgeous daughter, Katrina.

Slammin' Poetry

I have a tendency to get a little obsessive about things I'm interested in at the moment; you know, the issue d'jour, if you will.  Last year, I went to a poetry slam and became reconverted to the power of the spoken word.  This performance poetry reaffirms my belief in the the ability of words to connect all humanity through "universal truths."  I took some of my students to a poetry slam, many of them fell in love with the genre, and we wrote and performed powerful poetry in class.  We even had a small open mic session at the Family Support Center.  A year later, kids are still writing, still interested, and still anxious to have their voices heard in the Seattle Slam circuit.  So, last Friday I took some kids to the Langston Hughes Performing Arts Center in midtown Seattle and they competed for spots on the Youth Speaks Poetry Team.  It was......everything you would want in an evening of powerful wordsmithery...  One of my students made it into the finals and the other didn't make it out of the first round.  Both were beyond beautiful in their bravery and their heartfelt emotions.  Maybe the whole thing sounds too beatnickish to you, but it is so cool that you will just get swept up in the language ride.  So, this is what you should do.  Find a poetry slam in your area and go to one.  Maybe you'll feel like writing a little afterwards.  Maybe, like me, you'll find your head aswhirl with unwritten poems, awakened by the knock knocking of forgotten feelings.  It's about the poetry, my friends.  

P.S.  Ya, I know that Baby Fallon has nothing to do with poetry, but isn't she cute?  And besides, remember my theory?